My body is slowing down. I have to run for much longer than I used to just to stay in decent shape and I have to take a prolonged break from boxing because I believe I am developing tendonitis in my left elbow. I get tired earlier and every Saturday night instead of looking forward to partying I get excited thinking about who is going to be hosting SNL. My daughter is now old enough to tell me not to give her a goodbye kiss on the cheek in front of her friends at school and I really hate most contemporary music. I’m old as hell.
It’s wild because there was a period in my life where I couldn’t imagine myself being 30-years-old. I didn’t think that I was supposed to make it but I most definitely did. A few years back I remember visiting my grandmother in the Bayview section of San Francisco. This was back when she was able to take care of herself. She spoke to me about pain in her joints, traumatic memories, and forgetfulness. She told me; “You know what I sure ain’t what I used to be. I’m getting old but that’s ok because you know what; if I wasn’t old I’d be dead,” and then we both started laughing.
When I think about my grandmother I know I have no real right to complain.
Today I listened to the Cat Stevens Greatest Hits album. Man, the songs made me cry because I relate to them with a totally different perspective than when I first heard them as a young man in my early twenties. I used to listen to them as the son looking forward and now I listen as the father looking back. My body has become the old man. But I have come to realize that its not what you have when you go that is important but the good you leave behind for others.
Very well said. Thank you for reading.