October 4, 2011
Shame on me for lying down with a woman who I hate simply because I knew that I could. I despise her apathy as well as the abundance of inherited ignorance that she flaunts so carelessly but she was there and I was weak. It becomes funny when one thinks about all the immorality associated with manhood; how we are raised to honor conquests over love, and how we are always willing to risk everything for what we don’t need.
Shame is what I felt when I realized that the game that I used to live by is a complete and utter distortion of what’s really real. Shame is that look of disgust that soiled my face when the original player that I once idolized asked me for a dollar. When I saw that he was homeless, addicted, and lonely. He had no hoes on his arm, ragged clothes on his back, and no roof over his head. This is what happens to those who never learn how to love.
The rain pours outside my door with great consistency indicating that autumn is upon us. I look out of my window and wonder what it will take for me to unlearn all of these selfish practices.