The more familiar a person is with the inner-workings of capitalism, the more a person is convinced that there is no way Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. Apparently, he was on suicide watch after he attempted to hang himself three weeks ago but was not being monitored at the time of his suicide earlier today. I refuse to believe that a man who allegedly provided sex with underage girls for the most powerful men in the world took his own life. Maybe we should use the term “assisted suicide.” Like maybe the word got to him that it would be in his best interest to kill himself and he was like “Yeah. You’re right. I’ll get on it right away.” Or maybe he was poisoned or maybe even shot four times in the chest. The point is that we will never know. No matter how comfortable you feel about the government report on the way in which Epstein died just know that the information that would have come out during his trial would have embarrassed the US government, several European governments, and probably Saudi Arabia’s as well. They had ample reason to kill him. But let’s just say that Jeffrey Epstein died by suicide as the media is reporting. What can we deduce from that? Is it fair to say that very wealthy white men don’t like to be placed in cages? Maybe they believe that jail is for the R. Kelly’s and Bill Cosby’s of the world. The Weinsteins, Catholic Priests, Ed Bucks and Epsteins are like “Oh hell no. Give me freedom! Give me bail! Or give me death!” But whatever, no matter how his life ended he’s dead. Let all of the princes, prime ministers, and presidents that were entertained by underage girls who were being trafficked by Mr. Epstein rejoice. And let the collective eye rolling of the masses who are once again being deprived of justice be slow, thorough, and accompanied by the loudest exhale possible.

-Roger Porter