October 30, 2011

She spoiled me, but I didn’t realize it at the time because I’m so spoiled. She would be there for me first thing in the morning or during the dusk—it all depended on when I called her. I treated her like the cold floor beneath my feet and now that she has disappeared the void she has left is immeasurable.

I know I could have her over if I put in enough effort but it wouldn’t be the same. What I loved about her is I never had to sweat her. All I ever needed to do is send a text message and she would cling to me like a leaf to a tree. I thought that was so sexy. I have always been drawn to vulnerability and that’s my problem. What happens when that weak girl gets strong? When she gathers enough strength to leave your black ass? Then where are you going to go?

If I would have told that girl how I really feel then she would be here right now. But I didn’t so now she will never know. I take an enormous amount of pride in my stubborn ways. If only this pride would console me the way she did.

Damn she’s really gone.

-YB