No Sleep

Roger Porter

May 5, 2011

There is something about spring that makes me realize how spectacularly beautiful the human race is…well at least on the surface.

I was walking down Market Street in San Francisco yesterday and was taken aback by how alive everyone looked. I almost had to squint my eyes to adjust to the glow emitted from the faces of passers-by. I walked down the middle of the sidewalk and people seemed to move past me in either direction with a determination that was almost surreal. Panhandlers pleaded for money to the rhythm provided by the street musicians. Women showed flesh and wore sunglasses, and even the air tasted sweet. Yesterday was one of those outstanding days that made me feel a little guilty. Perhaps even a little ashamed that I can catch a train in the afternoon and not have to worry about deadly nerve gas being released in the station. Or that I can walk around a densely populated area in a major metropolis and not even consider the possibility of a drone attack, or a suicide bomber taking out as many people as possible. As a matter of fact at that moment in the city I must admit I felt very carefree. The only thing that concerned me was the movie that I was about to watch in the theater.    

I’m thinking I should be grateful for days like yesterday and I genuinely am, but that does not mean that I am ignorant. At this point in the history of this country I am very aware of all the global bloodshed that enables me to be so complacent. Yeah the weather feels good but I also feel guilty. I suppose that’s the very downfall of being conscious. It’s strange but sometimes I wish I could sleep as hard as everyone else.

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