Sometimes when I’m in the midst of people watching while at a Cafe or walking down the street, I admit to having very random thoughts. Often times I see people who are mentally ill talking to themselves and blurting out obscenities or whatever else comes to mind and I become envious. I know how strange that must sound but I cannot deny the truth.
I am aware that most people are either repulsed by the mentally ill, indifferent, or sympathetic however you must be aware that I’m not most people. I honestly think that it takes a lot of courage to walk down the street wearing whatever clothes you want to wear, unkempt hair, and an unshaven face knowing that people are going to point, laugh, or stare and not care at all. I admire the people who we tend to call crazy in a way because no matter what happens they continue to sing their song. They refuse to fall in line like the rest of us and do normal things, and have normal ambitions, and wear normal clothes. Assata Shakur once wrote; “Only the strong go crazy. The weak just go along.” Therefore the mentally ill people who we see on the streets may not have families or homes like us “sane” folks but they have something that we don’t have—the strength to go against the grain.
And on these days I just want to give up my laptop and roam the Earth until my shoes get holes in the bottom. I want to wear a full length leather jacket in the middle of July and walk around shirtless in the winter not caring if I live or die. Then maybe I’ll meet a friend that no one else can see but me and we’ll have lengthy conversations about love, hypocrisy, sweet potato pie, and The Little Mermaid. And when we walk down the street people will clear the way and give us the whole sidewalk because they respect us that much. And we will have peace of mind, we will have healthy souls, and we will truly love ourselves. People will look at us and shake their heads as if to say what a shame, and we will have pity on those poor unfortunate souls because both of us had the foresight to jump out right before the whole thing exploded while they all died in the wreck.
Then my daydream ends. I save my document, logout, and close my laptop.